No Answer

When everyone keep talking about the same thing,

I will start thinking about it,

Will it?

I ask and ask, 

haix~ No ANSWER...

Ask

I asked myself: What are you thinking about? How are your feeling.

Even a word, I not dare to talk or say it out.

God! What if one day I become dependent?

Part of me actually say yes...

Decision

I made a decision. I know what I want.

I used to want to be a teacher is because of parents,

I asked for help, people around, mom, dad, aunt, even friend's teacher,

They asked me to think carefully,

Once you be a teacher, there's no turning back.

I thought what they said, I cried every time I thought,

I cried every time I talked,

I cried because i know I don't know what should I do.

I really wish to go outside, this is what the life I want,

But mom and dad are worried about me,

They did say, this is my life,

I should think carefully.

I know they wish me to become a teacher,

But now I really wish to listen to my heart.

Stay here.

I know I will fell down, I will meet challenge,

Maybe I will cried that time.

But I know what I do. 

 

So, can you guys support me?

Mood? Change?

Dear diary,

Did I told you that I am scared by someone?

Hmm, I will just talk about it again.

Someone has freaked me out, not now, of course.

It's last week... Erm.. I don't know how to say here.

But, what I can said is, it's seem the problem has solved.

Just got one more thing... This weekend..

Anyway, beside this feeling to this person,

something inside me has change,

recently I am kinda childish,

recently I am kinda can crazy around with friend.

Fun~ I just remember to have fun in life. And I did it.

When I realized I have a positive change,

I am so happy about it.

Next week presentation, wish me luck!

Wanna let myself be brave.><

I have a letter for you

Exam : Look like everything is over.

Not with a good ending.

Friend, I don't actually know what you want?

I know, I quite close to someone else these few days,

But, this doesn't mean I decided to go far away from you.

You always turn away before I could give any response,

And what I saw was your back, going away.

Hey, we all are still here with you,

Don't just turn away without saying anything.

We still care about you.

Just.. same like what you said,

Changes of everyone.

I am trying to change,

Everyone change,

Because we have to step forward to the future.

Please do tell me if there's anything.

Seriously, I am curious what are you thinking about?

After the things you saw, you really can pretend like nothing?

Reality is much more different with novel.

Just get this message, Me and other member of protein still care about you.

Stressful night. And I think I have hurt my friend. Sorry. I just.. haiz.. don't actually know what i am doing just now. sorry. =(

Thanks, for accompany me while i am stressful.

-Afraid >< - I got your message-

I am scared. Damn scared.

I manage to feel it, something in there, inside,

I keep telling myself it's my illusion..

When someone told me that he also feel the same thing with me,

I am totally being frighten.

What? I can't accept this. I mean, for right now.

I never imagine before.

God! I am afraid, right now.. All I can do is listening to song loudly,

Hopefully talking to someone.

Friend, I know. Both of us change.

I am okay, everything here is okay enough.

Well, just time needed. I am glad to hear that, but..

Anyway, thanks.

-Insecure-

I am scared. Seriously, what Kai Yew said is right. I am insecure when someone come to my life, or intended to enter the locked heart. Probably I am still okay if the person is quite close to me, or is a girl. 

Insecure.. you are right. I am..
Locked heart.. yes.. Locked deep inside for a long time.. 
I think I will escape from real life.. soon. 
if I didn't manage to find a reason for me to suit in.
You are just not the real one in life.