-Something wrong-Nightmare-

These few days, something wrong with me.

I had dream last three day.

First day, I dream about everyone, everyone means including all the important person of mine, friends, and family (mom, actually).. I got a feeling, while having conservation with them in dream, the way they talked to me, sounds like they don't like me (or should i said hate?). Turn around, I found that everyone just walked away, disappear from my life. No matter what i did, even i cried, even I screamed, no one ever return or even looked back. Turned to mom, she just said something, in the way like I annoyed her. I feel like losing, losing everything i have.

I feel scared, extremely scared, until i was awake because of the dream. After I realized I was having a nightmare, i was planning to return to sleep, but i couldn't. I still feel scared. And my heartbeat was so fast. I never felt like this because of dream before. I hug myself just like what a baby style in fetus, thought it will make me feel better. But it's useless. I took a long time to calm down.

Second day, there is only a person in my dream (as long as what i can recall from dream), a best friend. You might know it, I do hope you know. This time, no one left. Just the feeling continued from yesterday's nightmare. You talked to me in a way such that I am just nothing to you, not best friend, just a normal  friend, or maybe I should said I felt like I am just a guest of your life,  a stranger. This is what I felt. Yet, feel losing again.

This time I was not awake by the nightmare. I was scared, it's true, but I remember what friends said about my dream the day before in FB. They told me, it's just a dream, besides dream always act oppositely with reality, I hope, I do hope that time when i waked up. Lie to myself that it's nothing? Yes, I do. Because, i am cleat that I was scared, damn scared of losing anyone.

Third day, I dream about my family. Not much I remember, but I know, I was having a normal day with my family member. The last scene was I listened music with sis. I think it's not a nightmare since i cant remember it. 

Three day, three dream, about the people around me and me. From extremely scared to no scared at all. Such a big change. Yet, until now, I was still afraid of losing. I think I will freak out if I am going to lose what I have.

Guess what. I feel useless. Sometime, I feel like being ignored by people around. I clear the reason i feel so. I was just a little star who standing beside a shiny sun. So people will just put their sight on the bright and shiny Sun, because the star was too small, its shine was to weak to be seen by human, isn't? 

Emo again? I guess not.. Am I?