RECENTLY

我很害怕，害怕面对你们。

是我多虑还是什么，我会认为在你们眼里，

我不是一个聪明的人。><

有些事情，有些决定，

我顾虑到的不止我自己，而是整个家。

有时候真的不得不想，

除了我，家里还有弟妹，

父母还要供他们的书的。

我……有时候，我真的希望

自己不会那么为他人着想，

自己不是细心的人，

自己不是那么回顾虑到那么多东西的人。

有时候，希望老天爷帮忙，

当时，我自己知道，结果如何，我的心也社会不安。

Yet, I cried.

I was happy just now. Result is out. 3.74..

But just few minute.

Why don't you just say anything about it? even the normal reaction you will usually give also none.

You say nothing and just ask me to fetch bro to tuition?

You have no idea how I feel while driving even I know it's dangerous.

And, I am shocked of me, myself. I can't believe i voice it out to them.

Oh god~ I just can't believe it.

But, why I feel both of us have been... not best friend anymore?

And then I remember one sentence:

Losing is much more easier than earning.

Get it? Well, emo-ing tonight. AGAIN.

my semester break after KL trip.

It's brand new day~ I am having my holiday, Semester break.
Hmm.. for past few days, i am just staying at home, do nothing but just browsing internet, downloading movie, fetching bro and sis going somewhere else. That's it! not busy but not too free.

I am actually thinking of finding a part time job. but i am quiet scared to do so. forgive me~ it's just my first time! only 2 week i have to do a job, will there someone need me? Perhaps i should get start. Just feel lazy sometimes~

Now i am keep practicing my english. Now it's look kinda fine. But i am sure when this article go to teacher's hand, sure there is a lot of mistake being mark on this.

God, will I get what I want? I means the scholarship. I really wish I get it. But seriusly, what will happen to us? Six of us, being a good team. Will they blame me? However i am sure, i wanna have it. PCP, yes! I want it aand I will do well.

Losing? No way!

I am be in a situation now. Argh~~

What a friend mean?

A friend will care for what you need.

A friend will tell you what to do.

A friend will stop you when you do something wrong.

A friend will...

What else? I am kinda wordless...

But be a friend of you, i am scare to loss you,

Just because you are my best friend, yeah, you are, 

this is what i didn't say it out or even write it down here.

Be a friend, i should say it out,

but i feel scare and this is what i shouldn't feel..

Someone told me before, 

When you start feeling scared, you are starting losing the things you have.

And i am having this kind of feeling. 

Just because I am virgo. Just too scare to losing.

C=

It's semester break~
After i have been studying for almost 4 months, and having so much exam,
finally it's holiday.


This holiday, I go KL with Cynthia, Kang, Victor, ChunLek, KiatMeng and Shujian. Together we stay in Shujian's house.


And I have done a thing. Looking back, it's a crazy thing.
It's complicated.
But I am happy to do so.
Just to say, I am willing to do so.


Seriously, I am quiet scared when facing the cop.
All the data I given was recorded down.
However, I know this is what I want to do.


Crazy thing..